Something to Think About

a blog on end of life

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About the BK Team
What Matters Most at the End of Life: Treatment or Time Together? article by hospice nurse Barbara Karnes, RN for caregivers

Sometimes the question is not how long we can live, but how we want to live with the time we have.

Is It Normal to Feel Angry at Someone Who Died? article by Hospice legend, Barbara Karnes, RN

Grief doesn’t follow a timeline or a set of stages. If you’ve ever questioned your feelings after a loss, you’re not alone—and nothing you’re feeling is wrong.

Who Cares for the Caregiver in End-of-Life Work?

Those of us who work in end-of-life care walk beside people and families during one of the most intimate times of life. Because of the emotional nature of this work,...

Why Does Dying Look So Disturbing? By Barbara Karnes, RN  Sounds, restlessness, and physical changes can be unsettling to witness, but they usually don't mean there is suffering. Understanding what is normal can ease fear for those keeping vigil.

Sounds, restlessness, and physical changes can be unsettling to witness, but they usually don't mean there is suffering. Understanding what is normal can ease fear for those keeping vigil.

When Death Is Sudden

Sudden death does not follow the usual patterns of dying. One moment a person is alive, and the next they are gone. There is no preparation, no final words, no...

The Quiet Work of Old Age

Eating less. Sleeping more. Turning inward. What if this is the quiet work of old age?

Preparing Hospice Volunteers for Intimate Work

Hospice volunteers do intimate work at the bedside.Preparing them for that role requires education and clear boundaries.

The Quiet Loneliness of Sundays After Loss

A reflection on the quiet, often overlooked work of grief—learning how to live as a “me” instead of a “we.” Through the story of “Pajama Sunday,” I share how new...

What I Wanted Families to Know About Dying at 3 a.m.

Years ago, a 3 a.m. hospice call changed the way I thought about caring for families at the bedside.It led me to write down what I wanted families to know...

https://bkbooks.com/products/gone-from-my-sight-the-dying-experience

We educate families about the dying process, but too often no one is there when death actually happens...

The Circle of Life: How Birth and Death Mirror One Another

Just as there are short labors and long labors in birth, there are short and long transitions at the end of life. Recognizing these parallels can help families worry less...

I Was 17 and Told to Sit With a Dying Patient — Alone

When I was 17, I was told to sit with a dying patient — alone. I didn’t know then how profoundly that moment would shape my life’s work...

Why “Not Now” Is Still a Decision

Many of us avoid thinking about death, assuming it won’t affect us or our loved ones—until it does. This article explores advance directives, DNRs, and why understanding these choices matters...

Blessings to all, especially the grievers

Grief can feel heavier this time of year, especially when the world expects celebration while your heart is grieving.

Can a Dying Person Choose When to Die? What Caregivers Should Know

In the final days and hours, a person may “wait” for someone to arrive—or let go when everyone is out of the room. Hospice nurse Barbara Karnes, RN, explains the...

Why Knowing the Dying Process Can Change How We Live

Most of us aren’t taught what dying actually looks like. When death isn’t sudden, there are natural signs and changes that unfold over months, weeks, and days. Understanding these patterns...

Guilt and Grief: What We Carry and How to Set It Down

Guilt is part of love’s shadow — the echo of what we wish we’d done differently. Healing begins when we release that burden and let how we live now be...

Why the Memory of Dying Stays With Us

We often replay the final moments of a loved one’s life — the sights, sounds, and emotions that felt so overwhelming. In truth, dying is rarely the peaceful scene we...

We Die As We’ve Lived: The Personality of Dying

After being present at so many deaths, I’ve come to believe that we die the way we’ve lived. Our personality doesn’t change because we’re dying. Dying is the last part...

To Care for the Dying Well, Look Inward First

End-of-life care isn’t just clinical. It’s deeply personal. Before we can guide others through death, we must understand our own beliefs, fears, and experiences. When we face death honestly within...

Beyond the Diagnosis: The Power of Plain Words

Clear communication is one of the most powerful tools in healthcare. Healing begins when we sit close, speak simply, and remember that care is about people, not just disease.

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