Death has touched us all, some more recently than others.
Grief has no actual timeline, no end point where we are suddenly "fine."
Each of us responds to our loss in different ways.
Each of us in our own way and on our own time figure out how to go on living without our special person.
With the holidays centering around family, friendship, joy, and laughter we are reminded of who is missing.
The Holidays become bittersweet-- seeing the joy around us but feeling the emptiness our special person has left.
We smile, laugh, yet tears are there.
Here are some thoughts that may ease you though this holiday season:
Thank your special person for being in your life.
Wish them well on their new journey.
Don’t hesitate to mention their name to others, to share memories, to say “she/he would have enjoyed this.”
It’s healing to laugh and to cry with others.
Write your special person a letter, a holiday card. Put down on paper your thoughts, feelings, your tears. Burn the letter or card and scatter the ashes to the wind.
Let how you go forward on your life adventure without your special person be the gift you give them.
This holiday season I am remembering many who are no longer with me. My parents, friends, friends’ husbands, acquaintances, and my own husband.
I am also remembering so many that are alive and in my life. My children, grandchildren, nursing school friends, high school friends, special friends.
I bless those in my life today.
I bless those that are no longer with me physically but who I carry in my memory.
I carry all of my special people in my heart this holiday season.
I also carry you, my community, who send me so much support everyday but especially supported me when Jack died this fall.
27 comments
Thank-You Barbara for your helpful books. They were arrived just when I needed them. My 44 yr. old nephew died just 38 days after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was totally unexpected. One month before that my 96 yr old mother-in-law died, which was expected, but still hard. I was glad I had your books. They were written in such a quiet and comforting manner. Praying we can all have a peaceful holiday no matter how we are able to celebrate it. Elaine.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Elaine, such losses so close together. Be sure to talk about and include them in your holiday, the tears and the laughter. Blessings! Barbara
‘relief can be found among the details’ & ‘the emotional residue that is left all over the place is what we have to work with upon someones death’ – these 2 sets of thoughts were offered to me as a young teen when my mother passed on Christmas morning. I often can find peace when grief is weighing heavily on the day/moment if I can breathe and navigate back to these perspectives.
Appreciate your share of thoughts as well and will weave them in as needed.
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BK Books replied:
Heather, thank you for sharing your way of coping with grief. Blessings! Barbara
Hi Barbara,
Just want you to know how very special you are and the impact you’ve had on me, my career, and the lives of the patients I serve. As a fairly seasoned nurse (17 years) but relatively new to Hospice nurse (1.5 years) I have relied on and learned so much from you and your educational materials. I have my own personal set of your books that I loan to patients and families and your work and experiences have truly touched and guided them. I also refer them to your website. I love Hospice/Palliative care so much and can’t say thank you enough for sharing your wisdom & heart with all of us. Thinking of you this holiday season, all the best to you and your family.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Rachel, Thanks for the kind words about my work. So pleased they have helped you do this special work. Blessings to you! Barbara
Know you are facing the holidays alone for the first time. Thanks for your helpful words to the rest of us. I just wanted you to know we remember your loss this season, as well. Marcia
Know you are facing the holidays alone for the first time. Thanks for your helpful words to the rest of us. I just wanted you to know we remember your loss this season, as well. Marcia
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BK Books replied:
Marcia, thank you for your kind words also. Blessings! Barbara
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